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He lifted the trunk lid, stared wordlessly at what was below him for probably a full minute. His keys fell from his hand and hit the gravel with a chink and for a moment, I was sure Arnie would faint. Was that even possible for somebody who was already dead? An interesting question. I strode up behind Arnie. In the trunk was a thin, black man, probably in his early 60’s. A graying afro that grew in a pattern-baldness horseshoe around a head that was splattered with blood.

The head was not attached to the body. It had been neatly sliced off, a job so quick and efficient that the blood-stained bow tie around the severed neck was still tied and straight. The man in the trunk could not have looked more different than the Arnie Blondestone I had known. But he was undoubtedly the “real” one.

I said, “I’m sorry, Arnie. I really am. I think I’m one of the few people in the world who can truly sympathize with you.”

Arnie wheeled on me like I was the devil. He pointed a finger gun at me and said, “You did this! You killed me, you son of a bitch!”

“Look at your body, Arnie. The one in the trunk, I mean. Look at the dried blood. You’ve been dead for days. No, I think somebody got wind that you had contacted me and so they took you out. I’m really sorry about that. It’s sorta my fault, I guess.”

“I’M NOT A FUCKIN’ GHOST! This is bullshit! Bullshit! I drove you all around town! I can touch you!”

He reached out and grabbed my shirt to demonstrate.

“What kind of trick are you playing, asshole? Is this some game you play, the way you made me see that thing in your truck? Did you drug me?”

I reached up and easily pulled Arnie’s hand off my shirt. I then reached out, put my hands under his armpits and lifted him into the air. He was about as heavy as a department store mannequin. I doubt you’ve ever lifted one of those but you can probably guess that they’re not very heavy.

Arnie’s eyes grew wide once again and I set him gently back down.

I said, “You’re an astral body. Do you know what that means, Arnie?”

Arnie didn’t hear. He clutched at his chest, looking at the world around him as if suddenly every stone and blade of grass held some new terror behind it. I said, “It’s a stage of manifestation between the physical and spiritual. A body that’s half-there.”

Arnie ran. He sprinted to the driver’s side of the sedan and yanked open the door. He threw himself into the seat and went to get his car keys, realized he didn’t have them. He put his hands on his face and leaned over the steering wheel, eyes closed.

I walked up to his door and said through the window, “this is my fault, Arnie. Not just you gettin’ killed, but this, this half-life you’ve got. I did this, I projected you. It’s the Soy Sauce, it’s one thing it lets me do. I’m thinkin’ you got killed right after we talked on the phone. You know how you talk to somebody and you imagine what they look like based on their voice? Well when you got killed you immediately assumed the shape of-“

“-This can’t be. It can’t. I don’t accept that. I—I got grandkids. I got a vacation comin’ this June, I’m goin’ to Atlantic City. I got tickets.”

“Yeah, you’re on the ‘denial’ stage right now, Arnie. This is all normal. Now, I gotta go, okay? I have to go call Amy and tell her she owes me five bucks.”

“Shut the fuck up, Wong. Right now. I refuse to believe that I’m only here because I popped outta your imagina-“

Arnie vanished. I said to the empty car, “I’m sorry, Arnie. I really am.”

I went around to the trunk of the car and almost closed it, but thought that maybe I shouldn’t have my fingerprints on a trunk containing a corpse. This also eliminated the idea of driving the car back to the restaurant. I looked up into the starless, overcast sky and hoped the rain would hold off until I got back to my truck.

* * * * *

I walked into the night. I passed a weedy vacant lot, a Burger King, a church operating out of a building that used to be a bowling alley. I passed a rail-thin guy that looked homeless, and did a double-take because he was wearing a stained white T-shirt that seemed to have my name on it. It had a yellow caricature of a buck-toothed Asian man that said ‘Mr. Wong’ under it. I thought I had seen that character before somewhere, and dismissed it.

Half a block later I saw two kids who looked maybe 13, smoking cigarettes and looking at me suspiciously. The kid on the left had a black concert shirt with a picture of some glam-rock band on it. Below it said, “The Darkness.” The other kid had a flannel shirt, unbuttoned. Most of the T-shirt underneath was obscured, but between the flannel the words, “is hungry” peeked out.

I thought I could see a sentence forming there, which wouldn’t be all that strange in the context of my life. I passed an old lady coming out of a storefront craft store, her blouse didn’t say anything. I saw a busty girl with an olive T-shirt that said “Stay Out of Iraq” and I thought that might apply.

I stepped onto the blacktop of the They China Food! parking lot and saw a white T-shirt approach. I squinted and saw it said in bold, black letters, “Balls: It’s what’s for Dinner.” I looked up and saw it was John wearing the shirt.

“Where’d you go?” he asked. “I saw your Bronco but the lady at the counter was closing up. Said you left a long time ago. Did you meet the guy?”

I asked, “Did the waitress remember me being with a guy?”

“She said she couldn’t remember. The question seemed to confuse her a little. Did he show? I came so he could get my picture.”

I waved my hand dismissively toward the horizon. “Eh, it didn’t work out. Turned out he was dead the whole time. He didn’t even know it. He was a semi-solid astral body.”

“I hate it when they do that.”

“Yeah, I had to break the news to him. He was drivin’ around a rental car with his own corpse in the trunk. I’m lookin’ at this old white guy who looks like a door-to-door salesman, and that’s not even what he really looked like at all.”

“Well he’s black, right? Dave, his picture was at the top of all those articles I printed out for you. Got the bow tie? Kind of bald? Didn’t you read any of them?”

“I don’t know. I got busy.”

“So I guess he’s not gonna do the article?”

I gave John a scowl that told him I wasn’t going to dignify that question. I said, “I gotta go back out to the mall. I left that floorboard pulled up. I was showin’ Arnie the body.”

“I’ll put it down. I was gonna go out there anyway.”

“You go out there by yourself? Why?”

He shrugged. “Hey, Amy called, lookin’ for you.”

“Big surprise, there.”

“She said call her cell phone as soon as you get in. Hey, didn’t you bet her five bucks the thing with the reporter would turn out to be a clusterfuck?”

* * * * *

I walked in my front door and threw the silver canister on the end table with my car keys and spare change. I found my TV remote between sofa cushions and clicked on the TV. It was some show about a family that builds custom motorcycles while they scream at each other. About a half hour later the phone rang. I glanced at the Caller ID, picked up and said, “You owe me five bucks.”

Amy said, “Hi! It’s me! What did you say?”

“Nothing. I don’t think that thing with the reporter is gonna happen.”

“Can you hear me? Go to your door.”

“What did you say? Amy? Hello?”

Somebody could get rich by inventing just one cell phone that actually works.

“Go to your door.”

This all seemed very strange. I tensed up, went to my front door and peered out of the little window at the top. Nothing. Cautiously I opened the door and stepped onto the porch. I turned to my right and saw Amy sitting in one of my plastic chairs, her cell phone in her hand. She was wearing a white and yellow sun dress and sandals. Her hair was longer than I had last seen it, actually touching her shoulders a little now. That was about as long as it would grow. In a timid voice she said, “Surprise!”

“Are you—are you really there?”

“Yep! I flew in this afternoon. For your birthday. John knew all about it, blame him. He didn’t really go to work today so he could pick me up instead. He wanted it to be a surprise.”

I was surprised, if for no reason other than the sudden realization that my birthday was just two days away.

“So you’re here? Now?”

“Yep! Hey, check this out. This is awesome.”

Amy leapt to her feet, raised one leg and planted her foot on the railing of the porch. This caused her dress to fall back on her thigh and my heart skipped a beat, like I had never seen that particular naked patch of skin on a woman before. Amy was pointing out something on her ankle and she was putting her leg back down before I took my eyes off her thigh long enough to notice it. She had gotten a small tattoo on her ankle, of a Chinese character.

“It’s, uh, nice,” I said. “What does it mean?”

“Ankle.”

She laughed, then closed the distance between us and clamped a hug around me that knocked the wind out of my lungs. She said, “do you like it? I told Crystal you wouldn’t like it.”

“What difference does that make? If you like it then that’s that. If I don’t like it I can screw myself.”

“So you’re saying you don’t like it.”

“It’s fine, Amy. You, uh, just got the one, right?”

She pulled away from me and gave me the most sly and devious expression her face could manage.

“Maybe. You won’t know unless you check me.”

I laughed. She giggled. We both fell silent. We left a trail of clothing from the front door to the sofa.

* * * * *

A certain amount of time later, Amy and I lay on the couch under an American flag afghan that John had bought me from a garage sale years ago. The TV was still on, we were both watching it absently. I asked, “So, how long are you in town?”

Amy didn’t answer at first, then said, “These guys get all worked up about building these motorcycles, don’t they?”

“You’re still working at that craft shop, right? When do you have to be back at work?”

She shrugged.

“Amy?”

“I quit.”

“Oh. So when are you going back?”

“I wanted to talk to you about that.”

“Amy, no. No. You can’t stay here.”

“Why? You have another girlfriend?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“I can’t go back there, David. It’s awful. Crystal and Tonya, they’re always like, having naked pillow fights and stuff. I can’t be around that.”

“Really?”

“No. They told me to tell you that.” She laughed.

“Amy, don’t make me go through all that again, explaining why it’s not safe. I shouldn’t have to.”

She twisted around to face me.

“No, see, I worked it all out. I think that right there, that’s proof you’re not, like, evil or whatever. You’re looking out for my safety even though you’re lonely and depressed every minute I’m away. If you were truly bad you’d only care about yourself. You’d tell me you wanted me to stay around, knowing it was dangerous for me but doing it anyway.”

I thought about this for a moment, then said, “You’re wrong.”

“How?”

“I do want you to stay.”

“Good,” she said, brightly. “I will, then.”

She kissed me on the cheek and rolled over again. I tried to figure out exactly at what point I had lost control of the discussion. She said, “Now, I really don’t have a place to stay here in town...”

“Well...”

“But John said I could stay with him until I found something.”

“Over his dead body.”

She laughed, said, “He told me to tell you that. He also wanted me to tell you he has a King-sized bed so there’s plenty of room for me. And that he sleeps naked.”

“You can stay here. For now. But Amy, you’re not living with me. You understand me? I mean, you’ll be living here, but not ‘they’ll be getting married next’ living here. It’ll be ‘she doesn’t have a place to stay’ living here. Okay?”

“Sure. Everything worked out, then. You know it’s good to be back. One thing I can say about Undisclosed, you know it’s gonna be more interesting than Utah.”

* * * * *

Nothing interesting happened for the next four months.

* * * * *

On a blistering late-August day, John and I hauled Amy and about a dozen cardboard boxes of her possessions down an exit ramp, my Bronco passing a green “Home of (omitted) University” sign.

The school was a little more than two hours from Undisclosed, which I had figured was safe distance should a pit open under the town and swallow it into Hell once and for all, and yet close enough that Amy would agree to go. It had taken about twelve arguments and one crying fit to come to that compromise. In the end I convinced her that she would have to get some kind of education and actually continue her life at some point. See the world, broaden her horizons. Get off my couch and stop typing on that damned laptop. She was a sheltered kid. She had a shitty time in high school and had barely been outside city limits since. You don’t realize how terrifying the world can be for someone like that, someone who would rather stay in a familiar hole than an unfamiliar mansion.

Which is why you haven’t exactly jumped at the chance to move away, either...

But we finally looked into it the college thing, did the research and found that her SAT scores were actually good enough to get her a partial scholarship. That and some future-crippling student loans were all it took to get her in the door. There was lots of paperwork and Amy turned into a nervous wreck for the last three weeks before move-in day at the dorms. But, here we were.

And that, I thought, will be that. The Utah thing was poorly thought-out but now, she’ll have classes and meet fascinating people and she’ll love it. She’ll call every day, then every week. And then she’ll mention a guy. A friend, she’ll say. And then she’ll call once a month, only visit twice a semester and then you’ll get the call and she’ll say she’s sorry, she’s met someone, he’s an English major and plays lacrosse or some shit. And she will have grown up. She’ll get some job right out of school in some other city and she’ll never, ever come back here.

And that’s how it should be. She’ll be out of my orbit, out of my sphere of concern, a poor target for anyone or any thing that wants to get to me. She’ll be safe. This time.

When a man plans, a woman laughs.

We unloaded boxes and waded through the lobby of the dorms. We wound up waiting in line for elevators along with crowds of skinny girls and well-dressed parents, chubby boys that looked far too young for college and a surprising number of Asian kids. Some guy came along and was handing out packets of forms, dorm rules and shit, and struck up a conversation with Amy. She got along so easily with people, so laid back. She had a light jacket draped over her arm on this 94-degree day. It concealed her missing hand perfectly. They talked and she giggled and he moved on, handing out his packets.

I said, “That guy seemed nice.”

She said, “Uh huh.”

“Did you get his name?”

“James or Jack or something.”

I said, “Well-dressed guy. Probably gonna be a doctor or something.”

John looked at me then at Amy, then at me again. He said, “He, uh, had a nice ass, too.”

Amy turned, rolled her eyes and we piled into the elevator. We rode up and moved her stuff to her tiny dorm room. And so, for the second time, I said goodbye to Amy and for the second time was sure it was going to be forever. We hugged and I wished her good fortune about a dozen times. Finally I broke off and headed for the hall, sure that I had succeeded, thinking that if you love someone you do have to set them free and that I had done just that, for the good of all. And juuuuust as I was almost out of grabbing range Amy snagged the back of my shirt with a fist and turned me around. She said, “Uh, thank you for helping me move.”

“You said that already. No problem.” She looked like she had something else to say. Quite a bit else, in fact.

John said, “Yeah, it’s not a big deal for me to lift heavy objects. I’m sort of used to it, if you know what I mean.”

I held up a hand to silence him. “John-“

“-of course I’m talking about my penis.”

I said to Amy, “Ignore him. His penis is just like everybody else’s.”

Amy said, “I was just gonna ask you if-“

“YOU’VE NEVER SEEN MY PENIS!” bellowed John. “I’d show it right now, to everybody here. If we had time.”

I turned on him. “If we had time? What?”

“Because, well, if you want to look at my penis, you’d better have a whole afternoon, buddy! You best have five or six hours to take it all in, lest its majesty escape you!”

Before I could stop her, Amy said, “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“IT WOULD MAKE SENSE IF YOU COULD SEE IT,” shouted John, plainly agitated. “IT WOULD BE MAKING LOOOOOONG SENSE, HONEY!”

“John, just calm down, okay.” I gestured down the hall. “Go wait by the elevator.”

He didn’t move. From behind me, I heard Amy say, “Do you want to get engaged?”

And there it was. I had a sinking feeling, visualized a moth flapping toward a blowtorch. I tried to think of the best, most soothing way to turn her down and said, “Sure.”

John looked at his watch. “Well, congratulations. Now we gotta roll. If we leave now there’ll still be enough light to get in some basketball.”

* * * * *

The day was so hot it stank. Asphalt baked under our shoes, bodies rustled against one another dancing to the irregular PAP PAP PAP beat of a basketball smacking the pavement. I backed toward the hoop, about where the free throw line would be if we had played on an actual court rather than this giant cracked piece of playground sandpaper. I spun, jumped, threw up a shot that was doomed the moment it left my fingers.

John snatched the rebound, spun, jumped, slammed. He pumped his fist in victory. “Ring it up! Two hundred seventy-four to one thirty-seven!” In John’s game, each shot is worth 137 points. “If I had a dime for every basket I made today, you’d still suck!”

I tracked down the loose ball and handed it to John. In this game, like life, scoring means you get to keep the ball. He dribbled twice, glanced up over my shoulder, and froze. I saw the expression on his face and turned.

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Copyright © 2008 David Wong and Jason Pargin - All rights reserved. No part of this book or website may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the express written consent of the author and publisher. This online book is a work of fiction. People, places, events, and situations are the product of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or historical events, is purely coincidence.