Updates » May, 2009

9.29.09

Monday, May 18th, 2009

September 29, 2009

That’s the release date for the book. Here’s a short excerpt. Yes, I was in a freak weather event, more on that below.



pic unrelated




John Dies at the End will be released by St. Martin’s Press on September 29th of this year. Want to be reminded when the book comes out so you can buy a copy or badger me for a free one? Join us on Facebook or if you don’t like Facebook Join the Google group or befriend us on MySpace or follow me on Twitter or this site has an RSS feed.

Order the book here.

I think that covers it. So anyway, 11 days ago this hit my area:

If you think that looks a whole lot like a hurricane, you’re right. If you think I live 600 fucking miles from the coast, and am in fact closer to goddamned Canada than the hurricane-riddled Gulf of Mexico, you’re also right.

If you didn’t think such a weather phenomenon was possible in this part of the country, well, join the club. Other members include me and the weather guy on TV.

That giant rotating storm with 100-mph winds smashed through three midwestern states, leaving me without power for five days and leaving this behind:


That’s not my house, my home wasn’t damaged. Here’s a photo of the neighbor’s house, however, taken from my back yard:

I pivoted 180 degrees from that spot and took this one:

So you get the idea. I was the hole in a donut of destruction.


I was huddled in my basement during the excrutiatingly long 20-25 minutes it took for the storm to pass. What did it sound like? Well, it sounded like a force strong enough to grab giant trees and pull them up by the roots:

Here’s some video of the storm in progress, it really is a stunning display of nature’s power:

I think that’s the right video. I’m very tired these days.

Things are almost functioning normally around town, the massive recovery operation they set up still has trucks roaming around but everyone has power again and most of the business have opened back up (including the local BBQ joint that’s got half its roof missing).

And before you say so in the comments, I know many of you have been through worse, this was small potatoes compared to actual hurricanes that slam into the Carolinas or the paralyzing blizzards you get up north. But it was my first time going through something like this and the combination of crouching in the basement, in the dark, while the world was ending overhead and then the following five days of being without electricity and mostly cut off from the world… I still can’t think right. Things keep misfiring in my head.

Those first couple of nights, when the power was out for 50 miles around and in my neighborhood there were no street lights, no porch lights and no headlights (they imposed an emergency curfew) and clouds smothered the moon and stars… I was standing in my yard and it was just a cave. Blackness. I couldn’t see my neighbors. I couldn’t see my own feet. I could have whipped out my dong and the world would have continued right along because just like that, everyone was blind.

It’s not that I’m such a pussy that I fall into a panic every time there’s a power outage; it’s that in that moment I felt like I was seeing what the world would be like if everything broke down. Like a preview of the end of society. Anyway.

As for John’s comment in the last update that “we were warned” that the storm was coming, you continue to underestimate the power of John’s drunkenness. I think he’s referring to that kid we ran into who claimed to be able to scribble pictures of the future, and specifically this:

Which John has now decided was a prediction that the city would be “attacked by trees.” It’ll be time for another intervention soon, especially since he seems to have about 12 cases of beer in his apartment that appeared out of nowhere (his fridge is now nothing but beer and a single pouch of Carl Buddig corned beef). He’s also getting texts at the rate of about one every 30 seconds, so I personally believe he’s running some kind of beer pyramid scheme.

Meanwhile, I just got the 500th response on my search for old-school JDatE fans. If you’ve been a fan for years, click that link and get the details. I want to hear from you.

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17 Responses to “9.29.09”

  1. nympholept says:

    “I about to warn”
    Maybe this is part of the ARG and the missing words spell a sentence, but just in case, there it is.

  2. subtle_rift says:

    Oh, Dave. I can’t believe you don’t realise we all know that riddle off by heart.

  3. sophus00 says:

    I’m just north of you in Wisconsin, and I didn’t get anything. Maybe a little wind, but otherwise I think powerful forces want you dead, Dave.

  4. JackieChun says:

    I’m in Wisconsin, too, and we got some pretty bad rain and wind. The rain was practically coming down sideways, but we didn’t get anything near that bad.

  5. Glitspeed says:

    Good to hear your ok.

  6. reckless abrandon says:

    Holy shit! Carl Buddig sells corned beef in pouches?!

    Good to hear things could have been worse.

  7. shoes22 says:

    About the new JDatE excerpts, it’s great and all, but I miss the less formal tone of voice used in the older versions. It was the stream-of-consciousness narration that really made the book stand out for me.

    I really can’t complain though, if I didn’t know any better I’d say that this version of the book was about to be sent to a MAJOR PUBLISHER or something.

  8. nympholept says:

    Much better :)

  9. thekg says:

    I live right in the middle of that star and I have no idea what you’re talking about, weather-wise. Clearly, sir, I have caught you in the act of telling falsities. Because that’s the only explanation. Because it’s not like I forget yesterday as soon as it’s tomorrow.

  10. forgottenrealmsfreak says:

    Looks good! Although I do agree a little about the narration. Question, though, about the thing. How will people be notified when it’s done and who’s involved and stuff? And what information did we need to send?

  11. mayarand says:

    Love you Dave. And maybe John too but mostly you.

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  14. [...] funny. There are still broken signs all over, by the way, from the hurricane (sorry, just reading that update in another tab). One of them is a really high McDonalds sign by the interstate, all the plastic had [...]

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  16. B-Fisch says:

    Having lived in south Louisiana for quite a while, those pictures seem awfully familiar to me.

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